It’s hard not to compare my internship experience at the YWCA with my many others, or compare Chicago with London, where I studied abroad for two months last year. Really, it’s like dealing with old boyfriends. You’re not supposed to compare the old with the new…but you do it anyways.
I hope I learn to love Chicago because I don’t want to go back to rural Iowa, but I don’t know if I want to stay here. It reminds me of the song “Closing Time” by Semisonic – the line that says, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." Not sure that the song perfectly fits my situation, but it’s a good song either way.
I’m actually going back to Iowa in a couple weeks because that’s when I could catch a ride with someone to go. Getting some space from the city (and breathing some non-smog-filled air) may help me clear my head and figure out if this place is where I really want to be, or if I’m settling again – afraid to take any chances and go somewhere else for fear of failure.
The only way I can fail myself is by not embracing the opportunities open to me and by not using my talents to their fullest potential.
Navigating myself through that process – I’ll have to figure it out on my own. I wouldn't want it any other way. But I’m still open to advice.
No comments:
Post a Comment